Weather or Not

SoapboxStinksWpCHere's a prediction:

Not much more time will pass before a coalition between business and government forms to sue the weather industry for failure to provide reliable forecasts.

Think about it. How much $ is made by the national and local weather industry? It has to be right behind sports as a media cash cow. And how much $ is lost in public funds and business revenue when weather predictions are wrong, one way or the other? So, while The Weather Channel stars and all the cable and local TV weather geeks are creating a cult of personality for themselves while raking in big bucks for their parent companies - naming storms, hyping or downplaying their potential, misrepresenting and embellishing their impact - politicians, business owners, and taxpayers get screwed - profits are lost, resources wasted, careers derailed. And, not to forget the most important issue - people suffer and sometimes even die.

We're not suggesting that people in the weather industry are willfully malicious. All we're saying is those forecasters that apologized for their lame-brained prediction of the big nor'easter this week, and their bosses, are laughing all the way to the bank.



Retro TV

FrozenDinner_WpCYou must have noticed by now - cable TV packages and subscription services on the Web are offering numerous options for watching classic television programming. Of course, syndication has ensured a unending stream of "Bewitched", "I Love Lucy", and "I Dream of Jeannie" reruns for decades now. But this phenomenon is different. Now you can enjoy the big hits AND many of the shows that flopped when they were initially released - "I'm Dickens, He's Fenster", "Car 54, Where Are You?", "The Girl From U.N.C.L.E.", for example. Ahhh...what a delicious waste of time! You can feel like a kid again.

And so, while millennials spin their wheels chasing the latest "disruptive" fad, fogies are settling back into their couches and wheelchairs and watching crappy retro programming in black and white. Mindless, tiresome, predictable tripe.

Why, it's almost like watching popular music videos, Kim Kardashian, or "The Real Housewives of Every Major City in the USA Who Act Exactly the Same Way Irrespective of Their Home Base Because They're All Spoiled Narcissists".


Pop Quiz

Bulbs_WpCReaders of "The Fogies" like to be challenged.

Accordingly, here's a short quiz about the theme of today's toon.

Choose one:

1.) The Dutch: A Misunderstood People

2.) E-gardening: Your Fail-Safe Solution

3.) Watt the F$%#!

4.) Early Onset Alzheimer's: When Serious Only Seemed Silly

Submit your answers at Comments.



Old Flames

LongScrew5.5x4.5_FbCLooking for the perfect romantic greeting card for your Valentine?

Well, we don't have one....

But we do have a hilarious card to tickle your lover's fancy. Here's the cover image.

Click on the "Merchandise" link in the Menu Bar to visit the Fogies Shop at Cafe Press and buy one (or two, if necessary).


We're Living on Nuts and Berries

PaleoDiet_WpCRemember "Animals", that great (and bizarre) song by the Talking Heads?

Here's a sample:

They say they don't need money
You know animals are hairy?
They're living on nuts and berries
They say they don't need money
They're setting a bad example!

Well, it looks like the song inspired one of the latest diet fads, and now that diet fad is wreaking havoc on the population.

Here's an alternative notion:

Everything in moderation.



State of the Union

SoapboxSmilingWpCSometimes the Fogies just have to speak out about trends of the day, whether we're interested or not:

1. "DeflateGate": Why is everyone so surprised? The Patriots have a proven track record of duplicity.

2. Michael Moore: Just make movies, not comments about movies.

3. Disneyland: They really slipped us a Mickey this time....

4. Katy Perry at the Super Bowl: This will certainly put "DeflateGate" in the rear view.

5. "The Lego Movie" snubbed: Build them up, tear them down...isn't that the existential reality for plastic building blocks?



Flu_WpCThere could be some ambiguity in this toon what with the raging flu season happening at the same time the awards shows are hyping movies so hard it makes us sick.

But, seriously, we are concerned about the health and welfare of seniors who stand in the face of this terrible flu season armed with a nearly useless vaccine to protect them (BTW, whatever happened to "We want our $ back?!". We all dropped some serious coin to get those damn shots and we didn't get what we paid for...let's see, if the flu shot is only 25% effective, then shouldn't we get 75% of our money refunded?).

Anyway, if you want to keep up with the latest lies and rationalizations, be sure to visit:



Situational Ethics

EthicsTest_WpCJust think about all those times you slipped a few bucks into a card and handed it over to your niece or nephew just because of your relationship, just because it was a holiday, or some other special occasion. They pocketed that green faster than you could say, "Don't spend it all in one place!".

Well, sometimes the worm turns and old Uncle Fogey can use a few bucks of his own.

But we're willing to do a little work for it, unlike those little leeches. It's called the "entrepreneurial spirit".

Hey, we can be as modern as anyone else in the new millennium!


M.O.R.(e) Porno

50ShadesGrey_WpCIt's OK.

You can now indulge your lust for smut without fear of recrimination. Because "50 Shades of Grey" is poised to jump from the book rack at your local grocery store to the big screen at your local movieplex. Now those thirsty tipplers of white zin and sloe gin, the ladies book group, can put down the pulp and head over to a dark theatre to WATCH what they were only permitted to fantasize about before.

The Fogies want in on this action! We're getting kind of tired of always shooting our selfies from the waist up.


Bring Back the "Gong Show"

SoapboxStinksWpC“The Voice”, “American Idol”, “The X Factor”, “America’s Got Talent”, etc. etc. etc.

We just can't take it anymore. Every night on nearly every network people line up to hawk their talents in front of overwrought and under-dressed judges. Similar to the death panels envisioned by Sarah Palin, these capricious monsters variously taunt, praise, humiliate, and reward contestants for the amusement of millions of couch-potato viewers (such as us, the Fogies).

How is it that so much talent is available these days? Where has it been hiding all these years? Heck, when Chuck Barris and his panel of stoned-out-of-their-minds judges did the same shtick decades ago, no one on the stage had a whit of talent. Now, there are so many budding superstars we don't have enough time on the TV schedule to accommodate them.

There is, however, one big gap in the industry. As usual, all of the programs cater to youth and “youth culture”. Where is the venue for talented old folks to strut their stuff?

Fogies…marginalized, once again.