"Marigold Hotel 2"

SoapboxStinksWpCFogies around the world are desperately at work trying to normalize relationships with millennials and other sectors of youth culture. We're learning how to use devices and apps, we're listening to hip-hop and torch song divas, we've come to accept the power and influence of social media despite its populist flaws. We're putting Siracha on our Cream of Wheat, for God's sake!

So, how does "The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel", a Hollywood, er, Bollywood extravaganza featuring a blockbuster cast of coots and geezers in any way advance our cause?? Answer: it not only doesn't advance it, it actually throws it squarely back into the previous millennium.

Has there ever been a flick with more goosey characters? Answer: Yes. See "Winged Migration" the next time it reruns on PBS.

What is the greatest dramatic tension in the film? Answer: Will all these bluehairs keep to their bedtimes or not?

And worst of all, just as we were beginning to let go of those nasty Gere-Gerbil love affair rumors, there's Poor Richard twerking rather suspiciously all over the dance floor.

Forget about it fellow fogies! Just settle on the couch, cue up some viral vids on YouTube, and save yourself some bucks. That's what the kids are doing!