Try to have at least one meaningful conversation with someone today.
You would have thought that after co-starring with George Clooney and Vera Formiga in "Up in the Air" several years ago Anna Kendrick would have looked for interesting roles to elevate her stature as a serious actress, a la Jennifer Lawrence. Instead, the charismatic Kendrick has settled for shared leads in pabulum like the "Pitch Perfect" franchise, a lame-brained re-hash of the cheerleader competition movie formula that launched Eliza Dushku directly into forced retirement.
Deftly nuanced by exchanging pom-poms and pleated skirts for business suits and a capella versions of tired songs from the 80's, "Pitch Perfect 1 and 2" just plain suck. Consequently, Kendrick has fallen back to the pack and is running with the likes of Rebel Wilson (who may also be a good actress, but who can tell from all the dumb bits she has done, including a banal turn on that old patient on life support, SNL).
But enough about Anna...she must know what butters the bread in Hollywood. Let's talk about "Pitch Perfect 2", an unsurprisingly vacuous sequel that's so crummy that you don't have to carefully pick your spot to take a bathroom break - any, and every, moment of this movie is perfect for ditching the scene and hitting the head. In fact, you wish you didn't only need to do #1 when you get to the toilet - you wish you had to do #2, or better yet, you wish you needed to do #3, and you're sorely disappointed when you find the concession stand doesn't offer Ex-Lax brownies.
What's wrong with this flick? Mostly, it's the songs. Then, there's the performers singing the songs. Finally, there's the script (or lack thereof).
Here's our best pitch: Don't go! Save your $, save your ears, and save our toppling culture.
Oh, no, it's time for Hollywood to trot out its annual dumpster load of terrible summer movies.
Already, the Disney extravaganza "Tomorrowland" has fallen flat, allegedly because it's too "different" and doesn't deliver the banal predictability of a big franchise movie like "X-Men 10" (this does bode well for "Tomorrowland 2"...). Poor, poor millions of holiday moviegoers 🙁
Watch for our reviews of this year's crop of crap (and maybe a couple of unexpected sleepers) at the weekly "Soapbox" all summer long, starting with tomorrow's take on that very cheeky chicky flicky, "Pitch Perfect 2".
Remember when your teacher sternly asked, "What are you doing back there?" and you replied, "Nothing!", and she snapped back, "Well, doing nothing is doing ill."?
"Body image". What a subjective concept!
Who the hell cares what anyone's body looks like?
Sure, everyone knows that obesity isn't a good thing. Neither is anorexia or bulimia.
But geesh, we come in all different shapes and sizes - our body types don't matter.
How we treat each other is all that matters.
And so, this morning everyone is a little bushy-eyed and bright-tailed (see what we mean?) and maybe a little sad because Dave's retirement reminds us of how much time has passed in our own lives and how fast it has gone and how easy it is to take things for granted.
Goodbye and good luck to one of our favorite fogies, may your pasture always be green!
Every town has one: an Oriental rug store that MUST sell its entire inventory no later than next weekend because the establishment is going out of business. The weekend passes. The month passes. A couple years pass. The inventory liquidation sign becomes yellowed and faded. Unsold rugs are on display by the dozens in the shop window. The store never, ever closes down.
The United States Post Office has been running a similar scam for decades now. Reports of the demise of the operation have been greatly exaggerated time and time again. In the wake of the last panic about labor shortages, revenue shortfalls, and service reductions, we have seen the construction of a brand new postal facility, expansion of services, and numerous new hires in our neighborhood.
Well, good for them! We heart the Post Office. Just stop exaggerating your business problems - they're obviously not that bad. And stop stuffing all that crap into our mailboxes - we didn't ask for it and we don't give it a second look as we toss it into the recycling bin.
Read more about it:
Here is what we perceive as better or worse on a variety of blockbuster topics, and accordingly, which century has given us the best shake -
Better: Social Security Worse: Anti-social insecurity Winner: 20thC
Better: Grandkids Worse: Pillsbury Grands Winner: 21stC
Better: Weather Babes Worse: The weather Winner: 21stC
Better: Craft Beer Worse: Craftiness Winner: 21stC
Better: TV Worse: The cost of TV Winner: Tie
Better: Books Worse: e-Readers Winner: 20thC
Better: Perennials Worse: Millennials Worst Still: Generation Z Winner: 20thC
Better: Tolerance Worse: Intolerance Winner: NeitherC
Better: Fogies Worse: Geezers Worst Still: Coots Winner: The Fogies
C'mon, Fogies fans, contribute to the list!! Click on "Comments" and offer your thoughts. Doesn't matter if you didn't live in the 20thC (or like most of us, don't quite remember it) - you have a perception, and perception is worth a thousand facts!