28
May

Wild "Pitch" 2

SoapboxStinksWpCYou would have thought that after co-starring with George Clooney and Vera Formiga in "Up in the Air" several years ago Anna Kendrick would have looked for interesting roles to elevate her stature as a serious actress, a la Jennifer Lawrence. Instead, the charismatic Kendrick has settled for shared leads in pabulum like the "Pitch Perfect" franchise, a lame-brained re-hash of the cheerleader competition movie formula that launched Eliza Dushku directly into forced retirement.

Deftly nuanced by exchanging pom-poms and pleated skirts for business suits and a capella versions of tired songs from the 80's, "Pitch Perfect 1 and 2" just plain suck. Consequently, Kendrick has fallen back to the pack and is running with the likes of Rebel Wilson (who may also be a good actress, but who can tell from all the dumb bits she has done, including a banal turn on that old patient on life support, SNL).

But enough about Anna...she must know what butters the bread in Hollywood. Let's talk about "Pitch Perfect 2", an unsurprisingly vacuous sequel that's so crummy that you don't have to carefully pick your spot to take a bathroom break - any, and every, moment of this movie is perfect for ditching the scene and hitting the head. In fact, you wish you didn't only need to do #1 when you get to the toilet - you wish you had to do #2, or better yet, you wish you needed to do #3, and you're sorely disappointed when you find the concession stand doesn't offer Ex-Lax brownies.

What's wrong with this flick? Mostly, it's the songs. Then, there's the performers singing the songs. Finally, there's the script (or lack thereof).

Here's our best pitch: Don't go! Save your $, save your ears, and save our toppling culture.