Calling "San Andreas" a bad movie is like calling the sun hot.
[BTW, calling that a bad sentence is like calling this a bad sentence.]
Does anyone believe that an actor who calls himself "The Rock" could ever deliver a performance of any merit? Yes, we know...all those Rock Hudson fans from decades ago.
But this isn't the new Rock's fault. And it isn't the fault of the filmmakers. Nor is it the fault of the distributors. So, who's fault is this disaster, anyway?
Clearly, it's the fault of an audience which must be ON crack to pay $ to WATCH this crack as it rips across the screen and throws fake-ass CGI artifacts all over the place for nearly two hours. Even after grabbing our earthquake kits and donning our helmets we couldn't protect ourselves from the head trauma inflicted by this bubbling ooze of igneous slop.
So, take cover, everyone, because when this kind of trash is popular, you know the end of the world is nigh.
Time to jump on the online shopping bandwagon, old boys and girls!
Hey, you don't need cable TV to feed your horror fix!