And what better way to plunge into the spirit of the season than to watch programming about Christmas in other lands (such as how they celebrate Christmas in East St. Louis when you live in St. Louis and how they celebrate Christmas in St. Louis when you live in East St. Louis), how to find the perfect Christmas tree, where to party on New Year's Eve, and our favorite: who has the best extreme holiday light display?
Just the other night while sipping a bit of adulterated egg nog we were mesmerized by a competition involving four worthy competitors who had absolutely nothing in common other than their holiday decorating fetish. Now, that's America!
We're going to break down and say it: we like the manic enthusiasm and idiot savantism of these holiday nuts. They are all about their craft 24/7/365.
Hell's Bells, we can't focus long enough to make ourselves a decent breakfast.
Surely, we aren't the only ones who haven't been completely starry-eyed about the Digital Age?
Remember "Cliff's Notes", those little yellow booklets that provided plot synopses and critical analysis of the books you were required to read in high school? A quick scan and you were competent enough to pass most tests without ever setting hands on the actual work of literature you were supposed to read.
Do you now claim to have read say, "Moby Dick" or "Great Expectations", if you simply used old Cliff to get you by?
You say "yes"?!
Well, good, because the Fogies use the same scam to claim to have seen full-length films (and to review them!), when the truth is we've only seen the trailer.
And why not? Today's trailers spell out the plot, show all of the most spectacular action scenes, and give away every punchline and pratfall of significance to the movie. And they're free!
So, trailers suck, and trailers are the best!
Who says living in the 21st century isn't easy?
Sometimes the Fogies have a poor grasp of today's hip new lingo....
Wake up, fall out of bed, drag a comb across your head!
That's what y'all get for eating at a fake-ass Mexican restaurant instead of eating at that little unassuming joint over by the laundromat.
Read more about it:
Oh, the irony of life in our modern times: just as they're telling us that the BS they've been doing to our food can cause genetic mutations in our cells (READ: Cancer), they're creating food that is ALREADY genetically-modified.
How many of you know of people who were feeling pretty good and functioning pretty well before some over-zealous doctor pushed them into a battery of diagnostic tests that suggested the need for a battery of treatments and prescriptions, all of which resulted in a lifestyle of appointments, medical expenses, and mounting fear about things they had absolutely no worries about before?
Think about it - if you aren't having problems, you probably aren't having problems.