...and the winner is....

SoapboxSmilingWpCWhew...the Academy Awards have finally come and gone! And The Fogies have something to say about it all.

As usual, we didn't see any of the films, what with the price of movie tickets and the inherent danger of even going into a movie theater in the 21st century. We also fell asleep well before the show was over last night. But that makes no difference. Nowadays, peeps are spewing opinions about everything under the sun without having the most minimal knowledge-base about the event or issue at-hand...witness Donald Trump and all his supporters (but that's a topic for another day).

First of all, we're totally fine with all the backlash against the Academy for its persistent white-bread orientation. As Chris Rock said, what's new about that? Burn down the mission!

As for the Red Carpet fashion parade, our eyes are still hurting. Most of those clothes would end up on the Goodwill bargain rack after failing to sell at the local consignment shop. What an obscene waste of money!

Last, but not least, what about the winners? Good for them. They all showed up for their jobs and they all worked hard at their craft. They may be elitists, but they aren't lazy.


Annoyances: A (New) Top 10 List

SoapboxStinksWpCTop 10 People/Places/Things That Annoy The Fogies

  1. Memes
  2. Television meteorologists
  3. Loose change
  4. Kanye West
  5. Cyber crime
  6. Neighborhood covenants
  7. Kale
  8. Mosquitoes
  9. Award shows
  10. Star Wars

Let's Get Ready For Some Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy!

FootballConcussionAnother big game tonight!

Frenzied fans and marginally-knowledgeable hangers-on alike will flock to bars that have more wide-screen monitors than the old NASA complex in Houston to see the action. Millions more will tune in at home.

America's fetish with football is alive and well!

But are the athletes who have played the game or are playing it now alive and well? Qualitative and quantitative data both support the resounding answer that football fans do not want to hear: NO!!!!

Learn some facts about Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE). Go see the film "Concussion". Then see how well that cold beer goes down the next time you toast a "big hit" during the game. And, if the medical facts don't phase you, try substituting violent head-butting for "high-fiving" or "fist-smashing" whenever your team does something exciting tonight. See how that makes you feel. Might as well share in the same fun as the gladiators who are providing your entertainment!

Read more about it:



Resting B#@tch Face

ColdRainyNightWebEvery once in a while, digital humanity comes up with an extremely funny dumbass idea and promulgates it and propagates it and makes it rise to an overwhelming level of popularity because people immediately recognize its stupidity and hilarity.

To wit: the "Resting B#@tch Face" phenomenon.

Old folks are perennial victims of social isolation and discrimination because they tend to have a resting b#@tch face as an inherent consequence of aging. Or as an inherent consequence of straddling the 20th and 21st centuries. But that's a serious topic for another time.

Nearly everyone has resting b#@tch face if they get into trouble. To wit: Richard Nixon or Beaver Cleaver or Mel Gibson.

But the real boondoggle in the resting b#@tch face game is when a glamorous celebrity is caught unawares in the resting b#@tch face zone.

Last time we went to get haircuts we had to wait a while for service. To pass the time, we played resting b#@tch face while thumbing through the celebrity photos in "Star" magazine. Now that's a good time!

Read more about resting b#@tch face at:




Another Winter of Discontent

SoapboxStinksWpCHere we are again, in the longest month of the year...it is 59 days long and it is arbitrarily divided roughly in half by naming the 1st part "January" and the 2nd part "February". But we all know it's the same damn month.

So, what's happening?




Upper respiratory viruses.

Arctic blasts.

Award shows.

Award shows!?!

What could be worse than that!?!