"I Solemnly Swear...."

OathOfOfficeStrip_WpCOur candidate, always kicking things downstairs.




Nuanced Positions



No Trespassing

SoapboxStinksWpCOur candidate is ready to kick some butt on behalf of old folk in America. He has a pulsing finger on the...er...a finger on the pulse of the issues of most importance to fogies.

To wit -

Have you noticed? Door-to-door salespeople are re-appearing in droves in suburban America. No longer do they tote heavy sets of encyclopedia or bulky vacuum cleaners. This new breed of walking solicitor is only equipped with an I-Pad and Day-Glo golf shirt. From neighborhood to neighborhood they caravan about, seeking unwitting targets who happen to be out in the garden or walking the dog. They sell gutters and cell phone plans and chocolate bars. Once in their clutches, there is no hope for escape.

What can be done about this abomination?

We need a "Do Not Call List" for walk-ups. 

Or, we could just provide everyone with a government-issued pit bull.

Whatever...we promise to put a stop to this annoying practice as soon as we take office.


Surely, We Jest!

SoapboxSmilingWpCAs far as we can tell, the early stages of the 2016 Presidential race have been mildly interesting, but nearly devoid of Humor.

Oh, unless you count the dripping sarcasm and schoolyard put-downs we've heard in some recent speeches and press events on the Republican side. But, as we all know, real Humor, i.e. something that is actually FUNNY, is hard to find in caustic and mean-spirited rhetoric.

And on the other side of the aisle, Clinton's insincere affability is sadly exposed in those plastic smiles and booming guffaws right out of the Tammany Hall playbook.

So, here is the Fogies' Campaign 2016 pledge to you:

We'll try to make it funny and keep it funny.

Elect a President with a real sense of Humor!


"Bring Back The Old, To Hell With The New"

ElectionPostions_WpCSlowly, but surely, our intrepid candidate is trying to conjure up ideas...ANY ideas...to advance his candidacy for President.

His loyal campaign strategist and sparring partner obviously has his work cut out for him....


You're Hired!

ElectionAdvisor_WpCOur candidate makes a savvy personnel decision, a sure sign of good judgment and political acumen.


So Far, So Good

SoapboxSmilingWpCThe Fogies' recent announcement of a presidential campaign for 2016 has met with thundering silence as constituents seek to understand why they should support a candidate who will likely be dead before his term is up...and no one with an iota of credibility is on the ticket for Vice President.

What? You say this is the same conundrum that faced McCain supporters in 2012? Well, hallelujah! At least we're doing something right!

In the months ahead, bold ideas, fresh perspectives, and exciting initiatives will be unveiled...just don't look for The Fogies dish out any of that crap.

So, stay tuned as our candidate increases his exposure and formulates a thought or two about how he can make America great again!


Here We Go!



Rebate That Debate!


Woops, sorry, still trying to sleep off that clunker of a debate last night.

In fact, we were dreaming about the debate that never was....

Like when Carly (Simonized) swooned and The Donald gallantly rushed forward and administered mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Like when Rand Paul exploded. Literally.

Like when Chris Christie blew the President a kiss and gave him the "call me" sign.

Like when the set collapsed under the weight of all the candidates. It stood to reason such a catastrophe would happen. In fairness, however, the organizers were heard to declaim, "Who would have known that hot air weighed so much!".

Save yourselves! Save everyone! Vote "Fogies" in 2016!!



Agree To Disagree

WordsMouth_WpCAre we really willing to entrust the security of millions and millions of people to one of the front-runners on the debate stage of the Republican Party tonight?

Apparently, the answer is "yes", as we were willing to extend the same trust to Sarah Palin the last go-around. Sure, she wasn't the nominee for President, but she was one heartbeat away from it. And like Trump and Carson, she had no clue about what's really going on in the world (but unlike Trump and Carson, she didn't have Brain One).

But, what the hey, let's watch tonight and enjoy the rap - it's all harmless fun at this point in time.

We DO have a recommendation for a future debate, though. How about a "Twitterbate", a hashtagfest of barbs and quips exchanged by the moderators and candidates? All questions and answers short and sweet. And let EVERYONE tweet in at some point in the proceedings (everyone, but Bill Shatner, that is...he wouldn't let anyone get a word in edgewise!).

Now, that's democracy, and we wouldn't be forced to look at anybody's stupid FACE!!!


If you're curious about famous debates in American history, you might want to check out this link: