Best wishes to all our half-dead friends on this special holiday!
Be careful what you wish for this Halloween!
"Is that a hank of hair falling out of your head?"
"Do you always walk with a double-legged limp?"
"What's that goop in the corner of your eye?"
These and other similar questions are directed to fogies every day of the week. And now, we have another a top-flight television program that depicts characters such as these in action, folks who wander the streets and plains of America struggling to just get by.
At last, heroes we can identify with: people who battle skin problems, challenges to ambulation, difficulty being understood, and violent rejection by a well-armed reactionary populace.
Viva la Fogies!!
What? You say these aren't old folks? They're dead bodies, ravenous for human flesh? They're dangerous?
We don't buy it. We know our peers when we see 'em.
If you didn't know it already, Hollywood doesn't have exclusive rights to horror.
The Fogies are so happy when their peers in Hollywood are able to let their hair down and have a good time. Clearly, this is the case for Billy Crystal, who plays an old codger who falls in love with a saucy old coot at the nursing home in "Grampires". His paramour, played by Helen Mirren, has a strange appetite for blood and a strong desire to have a long-lasting (read: eternal) relationship.
This "Funny or Die" short ranks among the most clever and hilarious of the many features that have appeared at the comedy site since its inception.
"Grampires" is quick and silly and bloody as hell. Sharpen up your fangs (or dentures) and check it out at:
Didn't your parents tell you not to play in the graveyard?
The Fogies have a YouTube Halloween extravaganza for you! Just put in these key words and have a bloody good time:
1. Hellholes Episodes 1-4
2. Modern Monster Mash - Key of Awesome
3. Ouija Board Gone Wrong at Halloween (mellowbird)
5. The Shadow of the Undertaker
Wanna watch a boss vampire movie? Wanna watch a boss vampire-movie-within-a-vampire movie? We've got you covered!
"Shadow of the Vampire" (2000) ranks among the most interesting, well-produced, well-acted, and gruesomely-crafted vampire movies ever. We dare not tell you much about the plot, or the characters, or the setting. Better skip the commentary about the atmosphere, also. The Fogies may be a little spoiled, but we aren't spoilers.
Let's just say this: Willem Defoe received an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor; Ann Buchanan and Amber Sibley received an Oscar nomination for Best Makeup. Not too many horror flicks float around in such rarefied atmosphere. And the Fogies thought the film could easily have commanded nominations in other categories.
Get yourself a nice, tall Bloody Mary, and maybe a chunk of moldy cheese. Wear a turtleneck. Set the "language" setting for German, with English sub-titles.
NO lights, camera, action!!