Resting B#@tch Face

ColdRainyNightWebEvery once in a while, digital humanity comes up with an extremely funny dumbass idea and promulgates it and propagates it and makes it rise to an overwhelming level of popularity because people immediately recognize its stupidity and hilarity.

To wit: the "Resting B#@tch Face" phenomenon.

Old folks are perennial victims of social isolation and discrimination because they tend to have a resting b#@tch face as an inherent consequence of aging. Or as an inherent consequence of straddling the 20th and 21st centuries. But that's a serious topic for another time.

Nearly everyone has resting b#@tch face if they get into trouble. To wit: Richard Nixon or Beaver Cleaver or Mel Gibson.

But the real boondoggle in the resting b#@tch face game is when a glamorous celebrity is caught unawares in the resting b#@tch face zone.

Last time we went to get haircuts we had to wait a while for service. To pass the time, we played resting b#@tch face while thumbing through the celebrity photos in "Star" magazine. Now that's a good time!

Read more about resting b#@tch face at:




Used to Be's

SoapboxStinksWpCHow about some Fogies "Used To Be's" to get your new year off to a good start? Be sure to share your "Used To Be's" with all our Fogies fans - use the "Comments" link:
  1. Used to be you could go to Portland, Oregon and say to yourself, "Man, this place is really hip!" And you would be stating the truth. A culture so hip that it could easily spawn a popular sitcom. Turns out that was a good idea better left unspoken. For "Portlandia" is so self-consciously hip that it went from "quirky" to "dorky" after a handful of episodes. And worse, it has drawn a tidal wave of pseudo-hipsters into the real Portland, desperately seeking to find the "Portlandia" vibe. Natives take cover!
  2. Used to be you could go to the likker store or the beer barn and choose from any number of cases of decent, affordable, locally-brewed and bottled beers. We all know the big breweries destroyed that idyll, and we DO love the craft brews that are available today...but, man, old fogies like us can't afford to drink those snazzy suds.
  3. Used to be "nutritional information" was not published on food packages. Then, labeling was required. Then, labeling standards were changed. Now, labeling standards are changing again. And all the time, everyone has continued to eat potato chips.



Trailer for Sale or Rent

SoapboxStinksWpCRemember "Cliff's Notes", those little yellow booklets that provided plot synopses and critical analysis of the books you were required to read in high school? A quick scan and you were competent enough to pass most tests without ever setting hands on the actual work of literature you were supposed to read.

Do you now claim to have read say, "Moby Dick" or "Great Expectations", if you simply used old Cliff to get you by?

You say "yes"?!

Well, good, because the Fogies use the same scam to claim to have seen full-length films (and to review them!), when the truth is we've only seen the trailer.

And why not? Today's trailers spell out the plot, show all of the most spectacular action scenes, and give away every punchline and pratfall of significance to the movie. And they're free!

So, trailers suck, and trailers are the best!

Who says living in the 21st century isn't easy?SoapboxSmilingWpC



They Love You (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)

Beatles50th_WpCWhen is one of these pop superstars honestly going to admit their greatest musical influence was nursery rhymes?


Work is a Heraclitian Fire

SystemsChange_WpCTired of the b.s. they're dishing out at work? Are you suffering through the latest "paradigm shift"? Have you had it with being "disruptive", "innovative", and "cutting edge"? The Fogies are feelin' ya....


Pop Kulture

Supercilious_WpCWell, actually, The Beebs has apparently crossed the bridge to maturity and is letting Ariana Grande and other up-and-coming dipshits carry the mantle for a while. But we think you get the point....


Summertime Blues

SoapboxSmilingWpCLooking for 2015 summer entertainment options that don't require you to wear sunscreen or bug spray? Here are some winning ideas:

10. Voyeur Miley Cyrus making out with her girlfriend...wait, it can't be voyeurism when they are deliberately doing it where they can be seen....

9. Form a picket line outside the latest Adam Sandler flick...wait, you say the ONLY people outside the theatre ARE picketers?

8. Go to New Hampshire and stalk the campaigners...wait, are you already going to New Hampshire to see the remarkable Spencer Krug and his latest incarnation, Moonface?

7. Read the proposed agreement between Iran and the Western powers-that-be...wait, you say you'll just rely on a "fair-and-balanced" summary of it from Fox News?

6. Play the lottery...really, play the lottery.

5. Buy a bunch of smart appliances for your home...wait, if you already have a HAL 9000 you might as well save the cash.

4. Go cyborg and get yourself one of those wearable devices...wait, you say you've had a wearable device since before microchips were invented and you'd rather keep that private?

3. Spend your lottery money...wait, if you don't win the lottery, spend your money on more lottery tix.

2. Meditate...really, meditate.

1. Read "The Fogies"...wait, you say you already read "The Fogies"?

Well, thank you very much!


The Pool of Narcissus

KidsTwittering_WpCDon't fall in!!!


Shaking Things Up

Disruptive_WpCThe Fogies: trend-setters, not trend-followers....