23
Oct

“Fear the Walking Dead”

SoapboxSmilingWpC"Is that a hank of hair falling out of your head?"

"Do you always walk with a double-legged limp?"

"What's that goop in the corner of your eye?"

These and other similar questions are directed to fogies every day of the week. And now, we have another a top-flight television program that depicts characters such as these in action, folks who wander the streets and plains of America struggling to just get by.

At last, heroes we can identify with: people who battle skin problems, challenges to ambulation, difficulty being understood, and violent rejection by a well-armed reactionary populace.

Viva la Fogies!!

What? You say these aren't old folks? They're dead bodies, ravenous for human flesh? They're dangerous?

We don't buy it. We know our peers when we see 'em.

17
Oct

Avert Your Eyes

NakedAfraid_WpCIf you didn't know it already, Hollywood doesn't have exclusive rights to horror.

2
Oct

Steppin' Out at the Emmy Awards

EmmyAward2014Was it only two weeks ago that (after hours of fussing and p(r)imping), the Fogies hopped in the old jalopy and headed for the 67th Emmy Awards show. It just seemed like the perfect age-appropriate venue for us to attend.
 
As soon as we hit the Red Carpet loud chants rose up: "Flannel Is The New Linen!", "Sweats And T's, Please! Please! Please", and "Soap Is For Sissies!" (there was also a smattering of: "Get Them the Hell Out of Here!")
We were immediately buttonholed (quite a feat, since neither of us were wearing shirts with buttons) by one of the style-watchers who make a living gawking at the stars.
"Who are you wearing?" one of them asked us.
"Goodwill and Salvation Army," we replied.
A roar of approval from the throng!!!
We were such a sensation that we were permitted (with the assistance of several armed men in tuxedos) to quickly retrace our steps down the carpet. They escorted us all the way to the curb.
That was a night to remember!
17
Jun

Avert Your Eyes

HateWatching_WpCLeave it to our digital culture to create the "hate-watching" phenomenon, whereby media viewers openly admit they're spending valuable time watching programming that they DO NOT ENJOY, but feel compelled to view because they fear they'll miss out on something that's trending.

You know what we hate to watch? Local news. Specifically, advertisements for local news DURING the local news program that we're already watching. Can't they sell advertising to vendors to fill those slots instead of advertising themselves?

Read more about "hate-watching", and remember, haters always gonna watch:

http://www.hitfix.com/whats-alan-watching/hope-watching-vs-hate-watching-in-tvs-new-golden-age

9
Jun

Bad TV

UnderDome_WpCDon't worry, you have a choice.

Just cue up some old "Lost" reruns.

2
Jun

Stop Dragging Your Heart Around...

WalkingDead_WpCHey, you don't need cable TV to feed your horror fix!

28
Jan

Retro TV

FrozenDinner_WpCYou must have noticed by now - cable TV packages and subscription services on the Web are offering numerous options for watching classic television programming. Of course, syndication has ensured a unending stream of "Bewitched", "I Love Lucy", and "I Dream of Jeannie" reruns for decades now. But this phenomenon is different. Now you can enjoy the big hits AND many of the shows that flopped when they were initially released - "I'm Dickens, He's Fenster", "Car 54, Where Are You?", "The Girl From U.N.C.L.E.", for example. Ahhh...what a delicious waste of time! You can feel like a kid again.

And so, while millennials spin their wheels chasing the latest "disruptive" fad, fogies are settling back into their couches and wheelchairs and watching crappy retro programming in black and white. Mindless, tiresome, predictable tripe.

Why, it's almost like watching popular music videos, Kim Kardashian, or "The Real Housewives of Every Major City in the USA Who Act Exactly the Same Way Irrespective of Their Home Base Because They're All Spoiled Narcissists".